Marriage and Love

Sam Adeyemi Ephesians 5:25-27

According to bible scholars, there are three dimensions to love - eros, phileo and agape. Eros or romantic love is linked to sexual attraction and chemistry. It is an integral part of marriage but eros cannot sustain a marriage relationship because it could wane or fade with time. Phileo is brotherly love, love between friends with mutual interests. Phileo sustains a marriage in the long term, especially as regards sharing challenges and blessings; but even phileo, sometimes, can become insufficient in marriage because over time people could change as a result of tough circumstances. Agape love is unconditional love. It's the ultimate kind of love and God expects us to love one another with agape love.

God loves us unconditionally; it is His nature to love; God is love. For God so loved the world that He sacrificed His only begotten Son, Jesus, to redeem undeserving mankind. Therefore, as God's children, we have got to be like Him. Love is the greatest commandment, on it hangs all the laws and the prophets. Love is the fulfilment of the law. When you walk in love, you automatically fulfil all the commandments. If you love your neighbour, you won't commit adultery, steal or covet your neighbour's goods.

In a marriage, two people from two totally different backgrounds, with different values, likes and dislikes come to live together. This proximity causes inevitable hurts but we must learn to overlook and forgive. Love gives and love forgives. Love does not keep a record of hurt. Sometimes, we are so hurt that it's hard to let go of certain issues like betrayal and infidelity; it's at such times we need to seek help from the Holy Spirit, He will take the pain away and heal us.

A final word  - unmarried people have got to prepare for marriage with the right mind-set. Most singles crave the eros kind of love and feel being married is a licence to erotic love; therefore they rush blindly into marriage. Love manifests through self control. Do not disregard the wrong signals from a prospective partner. Do not go into marriage with selfish motives; always think of what you can give and the value you can add. Love solves all relationship problems, let us love the God way.